Words I couldn't say
by jdcocoagirl
Summary: AU. Hiei's POV unrequited love and angst Better summary inside.


Disclaimer: I dont own any of the characters so please don't shoot me.

Author's note: I would like to thank my beta Kuramarulez, cheers!

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**One shot AU**

**Words I couldn't Say**

**Yu Yu Hakusyo**

**Hiei POV**

Love hurts - that's what I've learned. Loving Botan is or rather was like the air I breathed, the water I drank, the prayer that held my faith and the person that makes me complete.

I love her, but I can never say what I feel. She's like a good friend but I wanted more from her. She makes me feel like the most important person and this made me long to keep her by my side. I failed to notice that she's growing and evolving to be the most gorgeous woman in town; every guy lines up to get her and tries to marry her, yet she turns them down, like she's waiting for someone. Was it me?

She bid me good bye to go on a trip, she seemed so happy to spread her wings, and although she's an adult now, I feel like she's the same teenager that I was friends with.

People say I can't keep a relationship going, yet I try so hard to hold my end, it just seems so hard when the woman I love could only look at me as a best friend. Or could there be more to it than meets the eye?

In the middle of my date, she calls me, saying, "Can you pick me up from the airport?" I immediately replied without any hesitation, "Yes, I'll be there." I look at my date as I start mumbling my apologies just to rush to my sweet Botan.

_My sweet Botan_ that was a thought that kept hunting me down to my own death. I drove to the airport.

The moment I saw her I walked up to her slowly, and she turned and saw me. She waited for me to go near her and gave me a hug and a kiss upon my cheek, and said, "Thanks, handsome."

As I drove her to her house, I asked, "How was your trip?"

She smiled that smile that makes me weak. She starts to mumble and I teased her about how she talks like a baboon. That got her attention and she slowed down.

"The trip was amazing and the best part…" She paused for dramatic effect. I quirked my eyebrow at her; she sighed and continued, "I've fallen in love with a nice guy…" as she kept saying she fell in love I stopped listening, there was an occasional nod but those words she said next drowned the roar in my head and it made me burn with both anger and hate. "…Yusuke was so great…"

I stopped and looked at her. Someone named _Yukake or something got to her first, I'm going to kill him _was my last thought. Pretending to listen to her, I smiled and replied, "That's nice to hear kid, and you're home."

She looked at me and said, "Thank you."

She and I spent the whole week together having fun and with no mention of said guy she fell in love with.

I was at work when she called me up, "Hiei," her voice was so ecstatic that I stopped to breathe, while she continued, "he is coming, and I would like you to meet us for dinner at my place." She stopped and giggled, "You will like him and I promise he is nice."

I tried to steady my voice to reply, "I will be there and I'm sure he is a great guy as you claim he is. Bye!" as the last word was said I set the phone down.

I hung my head, called my secretary to hold all my calls and cancel all my meetings for the week. After an hour of moping, I decided to leave the office, and drive around.

I went home eventually, and just as I was going to settle on my couch a voice from my right boomed saying, "Do you know that you just broke a promise?"

"What promise?" She glared at me until it dawned on me, "Oh the dinner."

"It's not like you to forget, did something happen?" She just kept staring at me and I looked at her. She sighed. "You did not answer your phone." Her voice was full of concern and worry directed at me and only me.

We sat on my couch for a long time. She would not look at me nor was I paying attention. The silence calmed me, especially when she was near me. I did not mean to say anything, but I said it anyway and what startled me the most was that my voice was so defeated and pleading.

"Leave him," I said those words with so much passion. I repeated to make my point to her.

She looked at me disbelievingly and disapprovingly. "Why?" was the only thing she could say.

"Because, I love you Botan, long…" She cut in.

"If you said that five years ago, you might like my answer. But now it's different, I know now that what I can give you is love of a friend and nothing more." She looked at me, begging for me to understand her, "I love you Hiei, I do, but what you're asking is way too much. He's outside. Meet him just once." She smiled as if waiting for me. I could not move or say anything. What shocked me was the next thing she uttered with pure bliss, "I'm getting married."

As she said that, I jumped off the couch and held her hand and plead. "Don't do it."

"Why?"

"I love you, what part of it don't you understand," I said it out of anger.

"We had our chance, it slipped away."

"Still, there must be a part of you that still loves me more than a friend?"

"I do love you, but not the same way I feel about Yusuke. Even in the short time we've known each other he made me feel like I am a princess and treats me well with his actions and with little words. You should probably meet him."

"Are you asking for my blessing to marry some random guy you…"

"You know what, forget I was here, and no I don't need your blessings I have my parents' blessings already. The wedding is next month; your invitation's on the coffee table if you want to come you're invited but if you don't want to its okay." She left slamming the door.

I walked to the window, and saw the man meet her half way and he hugged her and kissed her in front of my lawn. _How dare he._ I clenched my fist more than I can recall and used the door as a punching bag, picked up my cell phone and dialed to help me ease my pain.

Now here I am, sipping the bitter taste of pain and burning hate, sitting in the dark remembering the whole event of her wedding with a glass of vodka in my right hand and a woman in my bed whose name I can't even remember.

As I sat in the fourth row on the left in the garden wedding, watching and listening to the priest that was to marry them, I almost tried to stop the wedding, but when I looked at her the beauty that was hidden for a long time shone and the happiness she was showing made me feel happy. As the ceremony ended, everyone headed to the reception to celebrate. The dull ache that I had seemed distance now and I can truly say I'm happy for her. She walked up to me and introduced her husband to me: Yusuke. He was a pleasant guy, a decent one too. I asked to dance with her; he just smiled and said, "Just don't kidnap her or I may just kill you." His tone was clipped but smiling and crept me out. I nodded as Botan and I danced.

The woman on my bed stirred a little and said, "Come back to bed," the sleepiness in her voice was so pleasant, "sweetheart." I stood up, walked to the bed and slid beside her and she kissed me.

As the night faded away, our friendship will never be the same again.

The End

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Thanks for reading. Please tell me if you like it or hate it. and If you review i might upload the other version of the story in the point of view of a woman.


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